by Darrin Schenck

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by Darrin Schenck

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…getting to a place in your life where revenge is no longer desired.

I, like most, have been in a place where I had a burning desire to inflict some level of malice and harm to someone because of something they did to me.  I justified this thought process by thinking that I was standing up for myself, establishing boundaries, etc. when in fact I was just hurt and wanted to save face.  My ego took a hit and I wanted to slap back.  I’ll spare the details of the situation I am referring to, but in this case, the person who had wronged me (in my opinion) got into a bit of trouble with the law shortly after our incident.  So in other words, while I was plotting my revenge, karma punched this person square in the face.  I didn’t need to lift a finger, they got a punishment for their overall behavior.  Although it wasn’t something I had a hand in, and I missed the seemingly delicious something bad happening to them and they knew it was me moment, they got their comeuppance.

It is human nature to have a myriad of feelings, some good and some bad.  Life is tricky enough to navigate without creating people who are bound and determined to get you in some way.  You don’t want that kind of energy floating around out there, trust me.  Despite your desire to even the score or try to get “one up” on somebody, try this instead:

Let That Sh*t Go

Here are three possible scenarios to consider as part of this:

  1. Why would someone go out of their way to do something bad to you in the first place?  Think about what state their own life is in if they take pleasure in something like this.  It is petty and shallow and small.  If they are that preoccupied with you, they are not going to get very far in life.  Maybe they feel threatened by you and all that you are getting done in your own life.  You are making them look bad by comparison, and for lots of people, this is reason enough to lash out.
  2. Its possible that they may be completely unaware that they did hurt you to the degree you experienced.  Let’s take a dating example that is an easy one.  One of you was hoping to end up in a relationship, the other was just looking to have fun.  Since very few people ever discuss things like this in advance, you may have gone along with what was happening thinking that things were moving in the right direction for you to get the end result you wanted.  But, after a little while and some not so subtle hints, the other person realizes that they have found themselves in a serious relationship and they decide to bail.  Does this really reflect on you?  I know it hurts, but is their decision really because you are not good enough for them?  Maybe they just aren’t in that headspace at this time.  I know, and am speaking from experience on this.  I unfortunately have a  dating history littered with broken hearts and disappointed “temporary” partners.  It wasn’t them…it was me.  I wasn’t ready for a relationship.  I wouldn’t have connected with them in the first place if they were bad people, I just wasn’t ready to settle down.
  3. Maybe they are just a bad person.  There is a possibility that you crossed paths with someone that is just an asshole by nature.  Maybe it is their own history that got them to this point.  Maybe they were dropped on their head as a child.  They might be mean and vindictive to everyone, so why would you think their behavior is your fault?  You didn’t necessarily deserve this, it just HAPPENED.  Don’t assume you were the reason for the end result of their behavior; it is entirely possible that they treat everyone in this same manner.  If that is the case, plenty of bad karma has piled up and is waiting for the right time to release the avalanche on them.

Regardless of the reason you were mistreated, taken advantage of, wronged, cheated on, or whatever the case may be, let that shit go.  Move on as soon as you can, leave them in your dust.  Give yourself adequate time to heal.  Focus on creating a life that you are happy with and proud of, and give them not a moment of pause.  Don’t bog yourself down with feelings and thoughts about them, cut it loose.  It takes too much effort to handle everything in your own life anyway, so the last thing you want is to allocate any energy away from your own goals and responsibilities.  You can’t afford it, and therefore you shouldn’t risk it.  Do you, and let the chips fall where they may.

The sooner you get the above thoughts through your head, the better.  Sometimes the Universe puts someone in your life for a specific reason, and that reason is tough to see at the time.  Maybe this person was here to teach you a valuable lesson that you will only see once it is behind you.  Sometimes it is an individual that has the impact on your life, but you can’t see it until you are looking back at that time in your life.  If I would have married high school crush, I never would have had the life I have led.  She didn’t ruin my life, she closed one door and opened another for me. I was just too close to it and too hurt at the time to realize it.  Think about that…

 

As always, I wish you luck in your endeavors.

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