by Darrin Schenck

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by Darrin Schenck

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..they are in the right place.   BEHIND YOU.

Here is something I want you to understand, you need to pay little to no attention to what most people have to say about you.  If they do not know you personally, it can be immediately discarded, both the good and the bad.  You heard me, do not believe the hype about yourself any more than you believe the crap spoken about you.  Both are coming from an uninformed perspective which means neither has a ton of value for you.

Understand this:

There are two types of people in this world, people who are inspired

by you and people who are intimidated by you.

If you can surround yourself with people who are proud of your accomplishments, who cheer you on and celebrate your wins and and help support you through the losses and tough times, you are in business.  This is the group of people you want to have around you, as they probably have similar aspirations as you and will expect the same type of support from you.  This is a functional support system you need to have in your life.

On the other hand, things like comments on a social media post should roll off of you like water off of Teflon.  The type of “support” you think you are getting from the masses is nothing that can be counted on as real, and it is so out of context that you cannot take it seriously.  I am sure that becoming Instagram famous makes it difficult to maintain this thought process; you became famous in the first place by getting positive feedback from whatever it is you are posting.  But, this does not make you a better person or smarter than everyone else, despite what people say and/or you infer.  Being a famous athlete with people cheering your name does not mean you have your life all figured out.  It means that you have risen to a level of play in one specific endeavor better than almost anyone else, and the masses respect your effort and results.

In either case above, the masses will turn on you for the first time you given them a reason to.  All of it, everything you have built, can come crumbling done in one “bad” Tweet, post, comment or action.  Everything you thought you built on a concrete foundation turned out to be sitting on a pile of sand.  Sad but true, the world is a fickle place and no one is above reproach.

If people are talking about you behind your back, they are where they belong…behind you.  While you keep your head down and work, they worry about what you are doing.  This means they are not focused on improving or changing things in their own lives, working they way toward accomplishing things they want.  If they are focused on you, they are falling behind.  As the photo for this blog illustrates:

Losers focus on Winners, and Winners focus on winning.

Michael Phelps never worried about who he was swimming against when he hit the water, he was focused on the task at hand.  Stay calm, breathe, hit your turns, and swim like Hell.  That’s it.  As you can see in the photo, his competitor is looking at him instead of the wall, which was the destination.  Chad de Clos was so focused on Michael Phelps that he was costing himself precious split seconds in the race.  The phrase “stay in your own lane” has never been so appropriate.  If he had stayed focused on swimming his best race instead of what Michael was doing he likely would have increased his chances of winning.

None of us are running the same race and no one started from the exact same place or same exact destination in mind.  Eventually most people who have worked hard to become rich learn that it isn’t the money they were chasing, it was actually something else.  People who are obsessed with winning tune out the noise from around them, they focus on their work and what moves them forward, that’s it.  Everything else truly is just noise and serves no purpose.  Yes, you need to acknowledge the support of your followers and admirers, but you should not believe your own hype.  You are doing something they wish to do but cannot, and they respect you for it.  But they, just like everyone who throws shade at you, doesn’t know the whole story and therefore can’t be trusted in their judgement of you.  They have a bias, one way or another, and both should be equally discounted.  You are not walking on water and you are not human garbage, so don’t believe either comment when people say things to or about you.

If you can build a small circle of friends who are similar mindset, and tune out the rest, you will be far better off.  There are those who take action to make stuff happen and there are those who cast judgement on the ones who act.  As the famous “Man in the Arena” speech that I have referenced in other blogs states, it is ones who are in the arena who matter, not those who sit in the stands and judge.  THIS IS LIFE…this is the perfect metaphor on how to live.  President Teddy Roosevelt hit the nail on the head with this statement.  Please click the link and read the poster that shows this idea in full.  It is well worth it, and is truly words to live by.

Focus on where you want to go, and what it takes to get there.  You can’t ask people who have never been where you want to go for directions.  Therefore, unless someone in on the same journey you are, and started sooner so they are out ahead, you cannot bother with the input from others in most cases.  Ignore the haters and discount the accolades from people who don’t know you.  Again, people who talk behind you back are exactly where they deserve to be, behind you.  Work hard and leave them in the dust, that is the best advice I can give you.  Your successes will speak for themselves.  At every level, someone will have something good and someone else will have something bad to say about you.  Neither have any weight to them if you treat them accordingly.  The moment you start believing your own fan mail, you are in trouble.  You’ll end up like the swimmer in the photo above, too consumed with what everyone else is doing and taking your eye of the destination.

Stay focused.  I wish you luck in your endeavors.

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